A month ago I had something fall out of my life that meant a lot to me. I was completely blindsided, how could this have happened?! Devastated and confused, I went on a walk to get out and ponder. I needed to be alone to have a good cry and sort through my feelings. Feeling sorry for myself and walking aimlessly, my attention was drawn to the cedars. In the early fall, part of the cedar leaves turn orange and drop as the cedars are letting go of leaves that no longer benefit the tree to make room for new growth. Like the cedars, I had been feeling unbalanced in life and needed something to drop out (ideally, it would’ve been the homeschooling…). It wasn't what I wanted, but maybe it was what I needed.

My loss also resulted in an experience to practice forgiveness. I like to think that I’m generally quick to forgive, but that’s not always the case because… I’m human. After a few days of simmering in sadness and anger of what was truly an unfair situation, I came to a point where I needed to make a conscious decision; I could carry on with my ill feelings towards those involved, or I could choose to forgive and move on. I decided I wanted to forgive. Almost immediately following my decision, the tension and anger left. I didn’t expect to feel such relief so soon, but it was tangible. While I still have the occasional brief feeling of sadness or grief over the situation, I feel at peace. Ultimately, I’m thankful for the experience because it gave me the opportunity to practice forgiveness.

PS - more on forgiveness here, here, and here.